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Series Five

Still Game

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Series FIVE episode guide

Episode One - Drama

When Winston passes by the re-opening of the Bookies, he spots Stevie the bookie who had run away without paying out £32,500 owed to him. Stevie insists that he is his bald brother, Frankie. When Jack and Victor are in Navid's, Navid tells them that they should go to the West End where Oddbins do whisky tastings every Thursday. When Jack and Victor are at Oddbins, they win a day out to Glengoyne Distillery. Winston and Tam hide out in the Bookie's toilet all night to see Stevie come in during the morning and start shaving his head. Stevie admits to being Stevie and pays out the £32,500 to Winston. Winston stuffs the money into his artificial leg, but when he is at home talking to Jack and Victor, his leg flies off and crashes through the window. It lands on the ground, and a "hoodie" runs off with it.

Episode Two - Fresh Lick

When Jack and Victor hear that Chris is going to decorate Isa's living room at a cost of £160, they say that they will do it for her for nothing. Tam finds a tape with Bobby's name on it and takes it home to discover that it is of Bobby when he was masking as "Troy the Gardner in porn movie. Word gets round about the tape and all the guys have a look at it. When Jack and Victor start decorating Isa's house, the shower head comes off the wall soaking Winston, paint is trailed all over the carpet. They also burn the pies in the oven which causes thick black smoke to come from the kitchen. They have to call Chris in to decorate the whole flat. Shug takes the porn tape to his work and mistakingly presses the wrong button on the machine, which results in the tape being shown on the jumbo TV screen outside the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall.

Episode Three - Smoke on the Water

Victor will be 75 on his birthday, and instead of Jack giving him his annual present of a bottle of whisky, Jack wants to give him something special. After much discussion in the Clansman, Shug offers Jack a dinghy which he has had in his loft for a few years. Jack and Victor head down the Kelvin river in the dinghy along with Winston who wants to tag along with them. As they sail down the river they come across some neds who throw a television set onto their dinghy, bursting it and forcing them to go ashore. They clamber onto a boat chased by the neds. As luck would have it, there is a consignment of lager on board which results in the neds, Jack, Victor and Winston all getting drunk.

Episode Four - Hard Nuts

Navid decides that the time has come for him to change his lifestyle, so he starts by dying his hair black. Leo Miller who is a TV director asks Bobby if can can film in the Clansman as he has heard that it is a really hard pub. Bobby goes round Craiglang asking local neds and some of the regulars if they will come into the pub to be filmed for the TV programme which is called "Blighty's Hardest Boozers". They stage a "hard act" in the pub which is totally unconvincing to the TV director. Unfortunately for Bobby one of the "fake" hard men in the pub turns out to be a "real" hard man. Bobby is taken outside and given a good thumping. which is great for the TV crew to film. As they all sit in the Clansman watching the TV programme go out, Bobby is in bandages. Outside we see about 50 motorcycles descend on the Clansman and their intention is to see how hard the pub really is.

Episode Five - All the Best

Isa phones Victor to tell him that Hughie Reid has just thrown himself out of his window. Victor collects money for his widow in the Clansman and Victor, Jack and Isa visit her to donate the money. His widow, Ella, is the double of Ken Dodd. Hughie had worked for a wedding car hire company and while they are visiting Ella, Hughie's boss phoned to say that he needs the car this weekend for 2 weddings. Winston goes to the housing department as he is fed up living in Craiglang. He is offered a house by the sea in Finport, which he decides to take. Jack and Victor drive the wedding car and come across Fergie who tells them that he is getting married to Sinead and would love it if she could be picked up on her wedding day by the big car. Jack and Victor end up at Fergie's stag night, get pissed and tie Fergie up to a pole. The wedding party are livid that Fergie stood Sinead up at the registry office. Winston heads off to a new start in Finport.

Episode Six - Saucy

Frances's sister Molly arrives from Finport to stay with Tam and Frances for a few days. Winston has sent about 6 postcards from Finport which makes Jack and Victor think that he must be missing them all in Craiglang, so they decide to pay him a visit. Tam is completely enraptured by Molly's good looks and also because she is as tight fisted as he is. In Finport Jack and Victor stay overnight in a bed and breakfast and also they discover that Finport is full of weird people and it also becomes wild at night time. When Jack and Victor catch up with Winston in Finport, Winston shows them how he spends his time during the day - by going to the amusement arcade, by paddling in the sea, by eating fish and chips and by doing not much more than that. Winston shows Jack and Victor his accommodation which is pretty grim. Jack and Victor persuade Winston to come with them to Craiglang. Molly goes back home to Finport and gives Tam's balls a wee squeeze at the bus station.